The Grieving Process

There is nothing wrong with you!  Grief for the loss of a loved one, human or animal, is a normal response.  However, your friends and family, who did not share in the special bond between you and your pet, may not understand the depth of your grieve. 

You do not need to explain your grief to them.  You do, however, need to understand the grieving process so as to understand that what you may be feelings is normal.

There are five basic stages to the grieving process:

1.  Shock/Denial: It doesn't matter if your pet has had been ill for a long time or if the death was unexpected, your first reaction is to deny the reality of its death. "No, it can't be true."  Long after your pet is gone, you will find yourself looking in his cage and for a moment feel panic that he has escaped his enclosure.  Then the reality sinks in; he's dead and never going to return.  Denial is a normal reaction as long as it isn't taken to an extreme.

2.  Anger/Guilt:  Once the reality of your loss sinks in, the emotional pain is often expressed by anger at others, your friends, family, the veterinarian, God and even your deceased pet.  In addition, the anger often is directed inwardly and expressed in terms of guilt.  "I should have done more.  Why didn't I...."

3.  Bargaining: "Please God, don't let this be so.  I'll go to Church every Sunday if you just don't let him be gone."  You may feel out of control and seek to regain control by seeking a deal with God.

4.  Depression: With the death of your pet, there is a change in your way of life and you may feel hopeless and miss your pet, constantly thinking of him.

5.   Acceptance: At this stage you may feel withdrawn and calm with your pain gradually becoming tolerable.

While the stages of grief are universal, they may occur in random order, for differing periods of time and with different intensities for each individual.  It is important to remember that no two people experience exactly the same grieving process.